My father Chandrakant
Kolgaonkar, a soft-spoken, humble, jovial, retired gazetted State Govt
Officer; often transferred for his honesty, and integrity, died peacefully in
our home on 13th Dec 2019. A flame that burned brightly for 87 years has
flickered of late and now died.
‘Chandu’ or
‘Nana’ as he was affectionately called in the family was born on Aug 10,1932
in Karachi. The Great Partition lead the family to migrate and settle down in
Bombay. Charles Dickens famous lines, “ It was the best of times, it was
the worst of times.. we had everything before us, we had nothing before us..”
veritably described his migration experience. My father carried the scars
of migration but never allowed the trauma of his personal loss, violence and
tragedy to affect his progressive, democratic, secular thinking, nor did it
ever affect our upbringing.
Dad completed his
post- graduation in Arts from famous Ruia College Mumbai. He was fond of
books and an avidly read in English, Marathi, Sanskrit & Hindi. He
enjoyed reading plays of Shakespeare, Harold Pinter, Arthur Miller, & Vijay
Tendulkar. The other authors he relished were Dickens, Tolstoy, Shaw, Twain,
Jane Austen, Nehru, PG Wodehouse in English & Karandikar, Khandekar,
Acharya Atre, P.L.Deshpande & C.V. Joshi in Marathi.
Dad was a teetotaler, had no vices & lived a good life despite his frail health. Dad
was religious, believed in fasting and never missed his daily pooja. Dad was
not a foody but would prefer different vegetables for lunch and dinner. He
enjoyed fish, vegetables & curd rice. As his asthma became severe, he
completely abstained from eating some of his favourite foods and dairy products
but religiously treated us with ice-creams on Sundays. After trying all forms
of medicines, he found success and solace in homeopathy to curb his asthma. He
enjoyed reading books on Homeopathy and Astrology. Over the period, he
developed remarkable mastery about these subjects that he would make his own
medicine and even recommend his friends the appropriate medicine for different
ailments.
Dad never
associated with any political party but would avidly discuss and debate with
friends & neighbours on politics, civics, current affairs. He was fond of
various leaders like Tilak, Nehru, Patel, Lincoln, Thatcher, Kamraj, JP
Narayan, Shastri, Vajpayee, Madhu Dandavate, Mrinal Gore & even current PM-
Narendra Modi.
When we were in
school, he would tell us wonderful bed time stories. Often we would urge him
for more stories and despite being tired from work, he would never let us down.
It is quite intriguing that he never repeated the same stories and always
surprised us with new stories from his incredible memory. Dad enjoyed songs by
Geeta Dutt, Lata Mangeshkar, Sudhir Phadke & Hemant Kumar. There used to be
utter silence in the house whenever he switched on the popular radio programmes
viz; Cricket with Vijay Merchant, Bournvita Quiz Contest, and Cibaca (Binaca)
Geet Mala. He wasn’t a movie buff but liked Dilip Kumar, Meenakumari, Gregory
Peck, Audrey Hepburn & Lucille Ball. He was fond of Marathi theater and
immensely enjoyed British comedy serials. For him the serials were educative,
informative, entertaining as it included intellectual jokes often aimed at
the absurdity of everyday life. His favourite serials were ‘Yes Minister’,
‘Yes Prime Minister’ and the American serial, “Here’s Lucy”!
Dad wasn’t
athletic but enjoyed Cricket, Tennis and Hockey. He enjoyed the epic battles
between Borg & McEnroe, Chris Evert & Navratilova and later with Steffi
Graf. He would rarely miss a cricket match, and often carried me in his
arms to Wankhede stadium. His childhood hero was the impeccable Aussie batsman
Neil Harvey. While Tendulkar and G.R. Vishwanath were his all-time favourite,
he equally enjoyed watching Gavaskar, Chandra, Hanif Mohammed, Durrani, Kapil,
Botham, Viv Richards, Miandad, and Dravid albeit not necessarily in that order.
I distinctly remember how he had become teary eyed when Tendulkar made his
debut in Karachi in 1989, especially when the broadcaster showed the glimpses
of his childhood city.
C.R. Kolgaonkar
was a loving father, husband , brother, uncle & grandfather. He has been
good to us all: always by our side, a constant source of wisdom and
encouragement. He was very friendly and kind to all his relatives, in-laws,
nephews & nieces. He has always been very calm, caring , loving husband to
my mom. In an era when women seldom stepped out of their homes for work, dad
encouraged mom to continue employment as a school teacher. He willingly helped
her with any household chores, even babysitting us, learnt cooking and often
surprised us with some wonderful non veg recipes. Like any other marriage,
their married life was equally filled with joy, romance, emotions,
disagreements and quarrels. “What counts in
making a happy marriage is not so much how compatible you are
but how you deal with incompatibility.” – Leo Tolstoy . Both of them liked Tolstoy and guess
this made it easier for them to celebrate their 53rd
wedding anniversary this year.
Dad was a
straightforward man who demanded little from those around him, and like every
parent, expected only the best for his children. Provided he heard regularly
from us all – and saw us whenever possible – he was content. Dad had never been
strict, nor very authoritarian and seldom would get angry. He encouraged us to
follow our own dreams, be adventurous, and discouraged us from blaming destiny
or fate. His only expectations from us was to earn a honest livelihood and
become a humble ethical citizen. To me, Dad’s finest quality was his patience
and ability to remain calm: an inherent ability to listen, to absorb and to
offer a point of view based on quiet, measured wisdom.
In the last few
months Dad developed chronic cardiac failure as a result of old age coupled
with multiple illness ; Asthma, BP & Vertigo. Every time we would take him
to hospital, he would come back fit, to joyfully live another day - browsing
newspapers, solving puzzles, or watching Kohli score a brilliant century and
later vividly describing me those lovely cover drives !
In the first week
of December, he had triumphantly come back from the hospital but his exuberance
was gradually waning. We knew deep down he had to pass, there's no way he could
have survived for long. We stayed home by his bedside caring, with my mom and
sister around him for every moment with or without sleep. They held his
hand and walked with him to the end, making sure he was comfortable and knew
how deeply we loved and cared for him. I know this will make him proud and that
there is nothing we as a family could have done more. My mom and sister were so
brave.
I was in Chennai
and sadly couldn't be around at his final moment however I am glad that my
Mom and sister were around him. My sister tried to administer CPR however he
simply smiled at her and passed away peacefully.
My Dad is my
parent but also one of my best friends. It is very painful and hurts even more
to be not around him at his last moment. He often said that Partition is the
greatest tragedy much more than any job loss and guess another one would
be to not see his only son around on his last day!
My father often
quoted , “While there is life there is happiness”, we all make
mistakes and struggle with certain life questions, but the trick is to accept
that there isn’t always an answer and to move on. While there is suddenly a
huge vacuum in our lives, deep down I know that my father would expect us to
move on.
Dad, your guiding
hand on my shoulder will remain forever. Rest in Peace Dad !
